Taking Love
by 22girlsin1
Summary: Sequel to Waking up Screaming. The Governor has found out about Andrea and Rick's love affair. He is full of rage, and is demanding Andrea be returned to Woodbury. She is left begging for her life again. Will Andrea and Rick ever find their happy ending? Or will the Governor keep them apart forever? Is he going to be able to keep taking Andrea's love?
1. Chapter 1

**Taking Love**

Summary: Walking Dead fan fiction. Sequel to Waking up Screaming.

The Governor has found out about Andrea and Rick's love affair. He is full of rage, and is demanding Andrea be returned to Woodbury. She is left begging for her life again. Will Andrea and Rick ever find their happy ending? Or will the Governor keep them apart forever?

**1. Lust, Obsession , and Love**

_I remember the first time I saw Andrea_. I didn't think much about it then. She was sexy woman, and I knew I would be fucking her sooner rather then later. I was used to getting what I wanted now, and I knew I would have her in my bed. With or without her consent it did not matter to me. The fact that she returned my attraction made fucking her easy enough for me at first. It's not like she was the only girl I was having sex with. There were a few others. Still, something about her stood out. Maybe it was the softness in her voice, pureness in her laughter, or the fact that she was so beautiful. Whatever it was I couldn't get of Andrea. Then it all went to hell when she left Woodbury. Where was her loyalty to me? Did all that time we spent together mean nothing to her? I was beyond angry when I went out to find her. I gave her a chance to return on her all, but when she didn't I chased her down. Chasing her was actually getting me turned on. Seeing her scared, and helpless. Her life was completely in my hands. I was planning on killingly her slowly_. I wanted her to know that those who betrayed me had to suffer. _But something stopped me. I realized maybe this wasn't just an obsession or lust. This could actually be _love_. And why kill the first person I actually started to care about since my wife died? Turns out my first instincts was right. I should have killed the dumb ass bitch

then.

Almost four years together, and she leaves me for that pussy ass Rick. Andrea wasn't even smart about it. Didn't she graduate from law school? You can't tell from her recent actions. I mean writing and leaving love letters to Rick all over my apartment. What the hell was she thinking? Did she think I wouldn't find the letters and know exactly where she was going?

This was all my fault, I had gotten too soft after Aspen, my daughter, was born. I knew about the love letters, but I let it slide. I figured Andrea could have her fantasies of Rick as long as she did not act on them. I thought I had made it clear what I would do to her and Rick if she did. I should have called her on those letters a long time ago. _Made it know that even her sexual fantasies belonged to me_. But what did I do? I tried to win over her affections. I was too good to her. I even allowed Rick to leave Woodbury alive after I caught him sneaking inside to see her. _What the hell was I thinking?_

But soon I would have her back here in Woodbury. Either by her surrender, or I would capture that bitch myself. Then when I had her she would know what happened to people who dared to double cross me. If she surrendered herself, I might go easy on her._ Perhaps I wouldn't make her suffer to long before I killed her. _

If she did not turn herself over there would be hell to pay though. No chance I would allow her to live then. _Not there was much of one now. The only reason I was even considering allowing her to was because of our daughter Aspen._

If she didn't come back I would make sure she suffered. After I killed everyone at the prison I would bring Rick back to Woodbury. Then I make him fuck her in front of me. I would ask him over and over how he liked having sex with my wife while holding a gun to his head. After they finished I would shoot him in front of Andrea. I could see her crying over his dead body. She would be covered in his blood, and probably try to kill afterwards. With all the rage I have I would easily be able to take her down right now. Seeing her cry over Rick would send me over the edge and I shoot her too. The lovers could die in each other's arms. _Would deserved the slut right. Why did go to all the trouble of making me fall in love with her? When all she wanted to was kept fucking me over? I should have know better then to give my heart to her. But I would have my revenge._

I hoped for her sake she would be smart enough to return to Woodbury with Martinez while she had the chance. Because the longer she was gone the angrier I got, and the longer I had to think of ways to torture her. But if she didn't return on her own I was prepared to hunt on down. I had caught her once, and I could do it again.

**2. The Only Way**

"Will you go with me?"

"I am so sorry Rick. I can't not yet," I said tears forming in my eyes again.

"Why do you keep breaking my heart? Why won't you let me fight for you?"

"Because they are too many people who depend on you. And there is no way you can win. Believe me, Philip has a whole army now and even more weapons. That is why I never planned on staying as much I wanted too."

"But if you go back to him, you will die," Rick pleaded with me.

"It will give you a head start, and I have to try to save Aspen. Please, it's the only way," I looked into his eyes begging him to understand.

"I'll go back with you, and I will help you get Aspen back. There has to be a way," He had tears in his eyes.

"They wouldn't let you in. Besides Philip will be pumped up with rage. Not even you could take him down now. I'll have to kill him when he is off guard _if_ I get the chance again. I'll have to make myself do it."

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes, and I love you too. That's how I know we will be together someday. The road to our happy ending won't be an easy one. It will be long, and rough. There will be days you will want to give up on us. And times you will think that I never existed. Maybe there will be even be someone for you. Still, I believe in the end we will somehow end up together. Because I can't see myself with anyone else but you."

"I can't either. No one will ever love you the way I do. Please reassure there are no feelings left for the Governor?"

"No, Rick. He's mentally unstable. All he is to me now is the stalker ex-boyfriend I can't get ride of. The only reason I have been going back to him is keep everyone here safe, and I know I should not have came here. But my heart just kept telling me I had too see you one more time."

" We both knew what seeing each other would mean. The Governor warned me as well, and we both took a chance. But now I only wish you could stay. I want to protect you," He said pulling me into a kiss. His lips were so soft against mine, and I never wanted to let him go. He ran his fingers through my blonde hair, and touched my face with the back of his hand._ I wanted nothing more then to stay in his arms forever, and look into those blue-green eyes. I could feel his eyes watching me as I left the prison. _

Martinez was waiting for outside the fence.

"_I am glad you decided to this the easy way," He said putting my hands in handcuffs._

He then pushed me in the truck, and drove me back to Woodbury.

_This could be my last time car ride, I thought. The last time I see sun. And I might not ever see my daughter again. Or Rick. I would be dead soon. Philip would finally kill me._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 3**_

Martinez took me back to the apartment where I was living with Philip and Aspen.

"_Where is he?"_

"He is out with Aspen. He'll back soon. He's expecting you. Why don't you to bathroom and clean up? You reek of sex. That will piss him off even more."

I nodded, and did as I was told. He took the handcuffs so I could wash myself. I didn't have a plan right now. Other then to stay alive. I would do or say whatever I had to keep myself alive. I had to see Aspen again.

"You have any advice on what I can do?"

"Beg for your life," Martinez said in a serious tone.

Two hours later Philip walked in with Aspen.

"Mommy! Daddy promised you be back," She said wrapping her arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around Aspen and kissed the top of her. I ran my fingers through her blonde curls.

"I am back. And I never going to leave you again," I said smiling at her. I looked over at Philip the look on his face said it all. _He was going to kill me._

"Martinez why don't you take Aspen over to see Elizabeth at the bakery?"

"_We just left there daddy. I want to stay here with mommy," Aspen begged him._

"You go get mommy some sugar cookies. And then you can come back to have dinner with mommy. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"I promise," Philip replied .

"Okay, I'll be right back momma," Aspen said smiling at me with her light brown eyes.

He was silent about ten minutes after they left. I think he was taking a moment to decide how he should react.

"Welcome back," He said pushing me on the bed. _He was going to fuck me before he killed. I should have known. _

"Thank you," I said attempting to smile.

"Are you glad to be back?"

"Yes, I never planned on staying at the prison. I only wanted to see my friends one last time."

"Mainly Rick? I can assume," He said in condensing tone.

"Why would you assume that? I had a close relationship with everyone in that group."

"But you only wrote a hundred letters to one person. That is Rick. You wrote none to anyone else," Philip said placing all the letters I wrote the Rick on the bed.

"You went through my bag," I said in a voice so soft you could barely hear it.

"Damn, right bitch. I have known about these letters for a while. But I thought you knew

better then to leave here again. _You forget what happened last time?" _

"No. I still remember you chasing after me, and holding me down to the ground," I replied fear in my voice. I knew he wanted me to be scared, and I was more afraid then I wanted to admit. Philip could turn on a dime from good to evil.

"It seems that you have forgotten how angry I get when someone isn't loyal to me. Loyalty is the most important thing to me. Do you understand that Andrea? I am going to teach you a lesson you will never forget."

"Please, Philip…," I started to beg before he cut me off.

"You know I am going to kill for what you did, right? I can never look at you the same after knowing his hands have been all over you. Andrea, you are nothing but a slut to me now."

"Please, you don't have to do this. I know that I hurt you, but there is no reason to kill anyone."

"Give me one good reason why I should allow you to live?"

"Our daughter Aspen. She needs her mom," I said looking into his brown eye.

"What does she need a slut ass mother who risked her life for? You know how many biters there are from here to the prison? Andrea, you are lucky that Aspen is still alive," He shouted.

"I agree. I shouldn't have taken her out of Woodbury. It was too big of risk. Please forgive me," I said getting down on my knees.

"My forgiveness? Is that what you want. Tell me what you want bitch, but remember your answer will determine whether I allow you to live or die," He said throwing me on the bed again.

"_I want it to go back to the way it was before. _Please, let's pretend it never happened, and I'll be back here with you and Aspen that's all I want. My family," I begged him again. Begging was the only card I had to play now. I had to survive. _I want to protect my daughter at all costs. _

"You're saying all the right things _now. _But how can I believe you after reading these love letters? Each one goes in detail how fucking wonderful Rick is and how much you love him."

"Most of those letters were written a long time ago. I was scared right after you brought me here with good reason. So I needed someone to talk too. That's why I wrote Rick. But the longer I was here I started to trust you again," I lied again. And he could tell it.

"Liar! You're not attracted to me sexually anymore. It's because of what Michonne did my eye isn't it? You think I look like a monster don't you? That's why you want fucking pretty boy Rick, right?"

"No, I don't want him. He is nothing to me. I promise you are the one I want. I choose to come back. I don't care about your eye. You are so beautiful," I said moving closer to him.

His obsession with me was_ transparent_, and I was attempting to use it to my advantage. If I could only get him to trust me. _Make him believe I loved him. If I could find a way to reason with him._

"If you cared so much Andrea you wouldn't have left me _twice_," He said holding me down. His body covered me and his arms were around my neck. I could feel myself losing air, and I attempted to move my legs around. I was getting ready to fight with everything I had left. I wasn't going to let him kill me without putting up a fight. He finally took his hands off my neck .

"I fucking hate you, Andrea. Oh, I fucking love you," He yelled.

"I love you too! Please, I realize that now," I yelled at him.

"Why because I am about kill you? That's not good enough for me anymore, Andrea. Things could have been fine if you would have only kept your promise to stay away from Rick. This is your fault. You did this to me," He said ripping of my shirt. He was going to fuck me first and then kill me, I thought.

"It's not because you are threatening my life. Of course I want to live. I want to be with you and my daughter. But Rick can't_ compare _to you. I know that now. Hear me out please," I looked at him with tears in my eyes.

"You mean sexually?"

"Yes," I said softly. I knew that this statement intrigued him. Being the sex addict, Philip is, I shouldn't be surprised that would be the way to reach him.

"No one can make you feel the way I do," He smiled unzipping his brown pants. He tossed the pants on floor and removed his underwear. He pushed my face down onto his dick. I opened my mouth and begin to suck.

"Tell me my cock tastes better then Rick's," He shouted.

I stopped sucking, and I looked right in his face. The look I gave him said you won already can't this be over? _I told you I loved you can't that be enough? If you love me why must you hurt me this way? _

"Say it, or I will kill you now," He demanded.

"Your cock taste so much better then Rick's," I said finally.

"That's a good girl," He said pushing my mouth back onto his dick. He moved my head up and down controlling my movement. Finally, he lift my neck up with his hands. He pushed me on the bed on, and went in between my legs. He carefully removed my black panties, and begin licking my pussy softly. He went up and down until I started to moan.

"Say, I am better at eating your pussy then Rick," he implored me.

"You are better at eating my pussy," I said in a soft voice.

"Good. Now I am going to make you come," He said sweetly.

"Baby," I whispered into his ear_. I had gotten him where I wanted him. He wasn't going to kill me now. His desire for me was too great. _

"Bend over and take it like that slut you are," He said after I came.

I get on knees with my ass in the air facing him.

"You know how I love it ,my dirty girl," He said grabbing my ass. His fingers nails dug into my ass cheeks as he enter inside me. He was so hard that it took him a minutes to get adjusted right. I closed my eyes as he moved up and down inside of me praying it would be over soon. I could feel my ass shaking up and down as pushed himself deeper into me. I knew I was going to sore in the morning, and would be lucky if I was able to get out of bed tonight. I was used to be treated like his rag doll now though.

"Say I fuck you better then Rick," He shouted.

"You fuck better then Rick," I repeated.

"That's right baby. I fuck you better then anybody, right?"

"Yes, you are my fucking sex god," I screamed.

He turned me over, and filled my mouth with his sperm.

"Swallow, bitch," He smirked.

I swallowed it, and laid flat down on the bed. His sperm left a bad taste in my mouth. I hated the way it tasted, but I knew better to say anything. My body ached already. I could see scratch marks on my legs, there was hickey on neck, and my body was red all over. This was the worst he had beaten me up during sex. He hadn't been this argue at me in a while. His arms were wrapped around me now. _He seemed calm, relaxed, and almost peaceful._

"You have it, Andrea," He said as moved closer to him.

"What?"

"My forgiveness. I am giving it to you too. And I am asking you to forgive me too. Can you do that?"

"For what?"

"How Aspen was conceived. I should have never forced that on you. I can understand why Rick was appealing to you," He said softly touching my face.

"I forgive you, and Aspen will never know," I said quietly.

"Just promise that you will never leave Woodbury or me again."

"I promise."

"And this thing with Rick was only an infatuation, right?"

"Yes," I agreed.

"This what you want? To have a family with me and Aspen."

"Yes, I love only you. I didn't know what I had until I almost lost you," I said running my fingers through his brown hair.

"I believe you. But if this happens again there will be no more forgiveness. You and Rick will be dead," He threaten me.

"It won't happen again," I reassured him.

"Good. Let's go clean up, and then I'll take you to see Aspen," He said softly.

I smiled. Just hearing my daughter's name made everything worth it. I hated being a way from Rick, and hurting him this way. But as a mother I had to put my child first. I took a deep breathe. I felt relieved to know that I wasn't going to die today, and that I would get to hold Aspen in my arms again.


	3. Chapter 3

**4. Saved Me**

_Andrea was only gone one day, and I went crazy_. I wanted so much to hold her, see her face, and touch her. But now she was back in Woodbury where she belonged. I thought for sure I was going to kill her. That was the plan .I had been so angry at her until I saw the way our daughter look at her. Seeing them together I knew I would not be able to murder her. That didn't stop me from roughing her up a bit though. Andrea got a lot less than she deserved, I thought.

_Rick would be getting a piece of mind too. He would know that Andrea was off-limits without any questions this time. He would never touch my wife again._

I watched Andrea as she showered after we had sex. Her body was cover with my scratches, a few bruises, and bite marks. I felt a little guilty about it. I loved her, and never wanted to hurt her. Still, I shown a lot of control considering I had planned on killing her. And this was her fault. If she had only left Rick alone.

"Your dressed already?"

"Yes, men are a lot faster than women," I smiled at Andrea.

"It's won't take me long."

I watched her as she put on pair of blues and white shirt that had black stripes on it. _Meeting someone like Andrea, was never in my plan. _I didn't think I would ever feel this way after my wife died. But then she came into my life changed everything. Her golden hair, bright blue eyes, angel face, and sweet smile. Of course, I fell in love. She loved me too, or at least she claimed she did. Her love was the only thing that could _save me_. I couldn't let go of the hope I would actually feel human again. I needed Andrea for that.

"I am ready," Andrea said walking up to me.

"Let's go. I am so happy you are home," I looked into those blue eyes.

"Me too," She said softly.

"Momma," Aspen yelled as we walked up to her.

"Sweetie," Andrea said pulling her into a big hug.

I walked over to them, and just smiled. This was my family. _Not Rick's. _He could have his one night stand with Andrea, but I would have a life with her. I hope he enjoyed fucking my wife because it would never happen again. She was all mine. I was keeping her at all costs.

"Do you know what we having for dinner?" Aspen asked.

"Chicken?" Andrea smiled.

"Yeah, my favorite," She said giggling.

"It's going to a late dinner."

"We were waiting on you to get home, momma!"

"That was very sweet of you," Andrea said holding her.

"I am going to get some champagne, to celebrate you being home," I said touching Andrea's shoulder.

"Good idea," She replied kissing my cheek.

Now, I knew everything was back to the way it was before. She was mine, and it was as if she never left in the first place. I could feel a tear coming to my eye as I saw her seating down with our daughter for dinner. This was all I ever wanted. A family to call my own. I already lost one, but I would do anything to keep this one together.

**5. Visitor **

"I think we should stay at the prison. Maybe the whole thing will blow over now that Andrea is gone," Beth said.

"I agree. We can't just leave here after we worked so hard to secure it," Carol said looking at me.

"The most important thing is to keep everyone safe. And if that means leaving we will," I said in composed voice. Everyone in the group were all looking for me to give them answers. I was starting to break under the pressure_. Especially with Andrea being gone again. _I had no idea if she was even still alive.

I looked over at the fence there was a truck pulled up to the front of the prison. The Governor was here, and I knew it. Was he ready to start a war now? How many more weapons could he actually have now? I should have listened to Andrea, and got everyone out as quickly as possible. Now, it could be too _late._

"_Rick, you know why I am here. You better get your ass over here," He yelled._

I looked at everyone in the group. Trying to stay calm for them. The Governor was a sociopath, and we never knew what he was capable of.

" It's fine. I will handle him. Everyone get ready to leave in case. If I don't come back just run. Don't take any chances," I warned them.

"Fuck that. I am going with you. The Governor is crazy asshole. You can't go over there alone," Daryl told me.

I nodded. There would be no point in arguing with him. I could already see in his eyes that he was determined to go. We both walked over to the Governor weapons in our hands. I was surprised to see the him standing alone. Or so it seem that way at first.

"What the hell are you doing here? You have some nerve to show your face here

again after killing my brother," Daryl yelled.

"This between Rick and I," Governor's voice was relaxed.

"It's over. Andrea is back with you," I said feeling wounded. I never wanted to kill anyone. I _regretted _killing Shane, but in the case of the Governor I knew I wouldn't.

What right did he have to hold Andrea against her will? Rape her and beat her everyday. There was a_ special _place in hell for this guy. If he pushed me to far I would gladly send him there today.

" She should never been here all night. I gave you plenty of warnings, Rick," The Governor shouted.

"Andrea, came her on her own. Rick didn't bring her here. Are you out of alcoholic mind? We had to let her in. For the safety Andrea and that little girl. You should be thanking us," Daryl screamed.

"I am not arguing that letting in her was wrong, but you should brought her back to the Woodbury. You knew Andrea being in Woodbury was part of our deal," He replied.

"I should have never her let go back with you in the first place. I saw the bruises. I know what you do to her. She told me everything. And you claim to love her," I said refusing to back down.

"You better glad she came back when she did. I had plans for you that wouldn't have been peasant," He smiled wickedly.

" Andrea is back with you now. Would you like me to throw you a party to celebrate? Am I suppose to congratulate you? Why are you here? Did you just want to come here to rub in my face? Knowing how much I love Andrea ? Figured missing her wasn't enough for me. So you remind that she is with you."

"This is a final warning to leave her the fuck alone. Your brainwashing her to leave Woodbury, and to come here to be with you has to stop. You won't ever fuck her again? You won't even look at her again. Understand? You won't like the consequences if you do."

"You the one who has brainwashing her. And everyone else in your community. Andrea maybe with you physically. But her _heart _belongs to me. You can keep us apart, but we will still love each other," I said glaring at him.

"That's so sweet. You can dream about her all you want. While you do that I'll be fucking her for you," He smirked.

"You won't fucking anybody, if I shoot your ass now," Daryl threaten.

"I wouldn't do that. I am sure Andrea has told you around all the weapons we've acquired at Woodbury. And now have real military soldiers there who are willingly to fight for me. We could easily over power you now," He smirked back.

"You could be full of bullshit too. Maybe I should kill you to find out," Daryl replied.

"As tempting as it, he's not worth it," I told Daryl.

"Smart man, Rick. I won't be causing you any more trouble as longer as there is no further contract with Andrea," He smiled.

"Shouldn't be problem. Now leave," I said already tired of his mind games.

"If she returns here you'll bring her back to Woodbury?"

"Yes. Now leave. Your presence causes _anxiety_ to some of the people in my group. Not me. I just find you annoying. I might have to kill you if don't go now," I threaten him.

"I am being serious. We'll attack if you offer Andrea refuge again. Not that she'll be escaping again. I took care of the person who let her out," He said laughing.

"I understand. We've been warned. Now leave," I said pointing my gun at him.

" I am gone, but I thought you might want these letters Andrea wrote to you. She does not want him anymore. Since her obsession with you is over. And I was going to burn them. Then I thought reading them might cause you unnecessary pain," He threw a sack full of letters over then fence. Then drove off before I could get another word in.

"I fucking hate that guy," Daryl said as we watched him leave.

"Me too. And you know I would never force Andrea to go back to Woodbury if she came back to the prison. I shouldn't have let her go back to him the last time. I was just agreeing with whatever he said to get him to leave," I said looking at the ground.

"I know. I thought the same thing. Andrea needs to be protected. But with the Governor

having Andrea's daughter in Woodbury she was determined to leave. You couldn't have stopped her no matter how hard you tried."

"You're right. But I keep asking myself you brought Aspen back to Woodbury that night?"

"I am guessing Martinez. He seems to do all the Governor's dirty work for him," Daryl replied.

"You're probably right. But we need to look out for spies. Any of these new people could be gathering information for the Governor," I replied.

Daryl nods in agreement.

"Now, let's tell everyone that we don't have to leave now. We'll be ready if they come back. We won't leave the prison with a fight. I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect everyone here," I said.

"So I am. There were other people with the Governor today?"

"Yes, they were hiding. That's why I told you not to shoot," I replied.

"Sneaky fucker," Daryl sneered.

"Exactly. He is always one step ahead, and we are going to have to find away to take him down. It won't be easy. But I don't believe he will ever leave us alone for good. Andrea or no Andrea," I said picking up the bag of letters.

"You're right. I have the feeling that won't be the last we seen of the Governor," Daryl agreed.

Walking back I look at the bag containing the letters. Did Andrea actually write any of these are was the Governor attempting to mess with my head again? And how could I just let Andrea go to back to him again. Yes, everyone was safe. Everyone, but Andrea who was still being tortured and held against in her will in Woodbury. I should have kept a better eye on Aspen. Then Andrea would be with me now. _Instead of with him. She would be where she belonged._

**6. Complications **

I only been back to Woodbury for a few weeks when I knew something wasn't right. I felt tired all the time, I was craving peanut butter, and my breasts we sore. I hadn't had my period that month. I knew I was pregnant, and there was a slight chance this baby could be Rick's.

How could I tell Philip, and how was he going to react? Also what was I going to do about Rick? There was no way to tell him that he might be having another child. It wasn't like before when I could just call, text, or send email. If I wanted Rick to know something I would to actually tell him face to face. _And there was no way Philip would ever allow me to leave here. _

_What was I going to do? _A few weeks into the pregnancy Philip noticed I was getting sick in the mornings. And knew what was going on.

"Are you pregnant?"

"I am not sure, but I think so," I whispered his hand was touching mine.

"So there is a chance it could be his?"

"Yes," I said closing my eyes briefly. I was waiting for him to slap me across the face. He didn't.

"It's okay, Andrea," Philip says taking me into his arms.

"You aren't mad?"

"No. This is my baby regardless," He said touching my tummy.

"You mean even if the baby isn't yours, you will still love him or her?"

"Yes. And it is my baby. I don't mention him again," He whispers.

"I understand," I said crawling into his arms.

"We'll have a doctor check you out tomorrow. Right now I just want to hold in my arms," Philip said getting under the covers in bed with me. I rested my head on his.

I was amazed at the fact he wasn't angry. I was even touched that Philipcould love a baby that might not be his own. But mostly I was feeling guilty.

If I had Rick's baby he would never know. He would miss out on his son or daughter's life. Wouldn't be there for their first words, first steps, or any other first. And if Rick had a child he wouldn't what to miss anything. That was just the kind of person he was. But I was in an impossible situation. If I could find a way to tell I would. _Still, the reality was I wouldn't be able to tell him. _What would I do if he found out years later that he had a son or daughter? Would he understand why I allowed Philip to help me parent? That I did what I had to do for my survival? Or would he hate me? Blame me for missing out on being a dad again? Say I should have tried harder to tell him. Or that I should never came back to Woodbury for Aspen.

If this is your baby Rick I hope will understand that I am only doing what I have to do, I thought to myself. He will have to understand. _Rick would want you to stay strong for this baby. I knew I had to stay strong no matter what_. I also knew any plans that I had for escaping Woodbury would be put on hold.

I couldn't be on the run pregnant with a three-year old. I couldn't take Philip down pregnant either. I promised Rick I would try to kill him, and I meant it. It was my only chance for _freedom. _The only way I could make sure no one at the prison would be harmed.

But whatever small chance that I might had to try was now gone. I would not risk fighting with Philip while pregnant. I could not put an innocent child's life in danger.


	4. Chapter 4

**7. HIS CHILD**

_I knew the baby was probably Rick's. It was a feeling I had in my gut. That even though they only been together once he somehow had gotten Andrea pregnant. How could I let this happen? Andrea getting knocked up by that asshole._ But the more I thought about it the less angry I became. In fact I got a feeling of satisfaction.

I had planned on getting revenge on Rick somehow. The idea of his hands being all over her made me want to puke. I mean who was he to fuck the mother of my child? What made him think he had the right? Did he not understand Andrea belonged to me?

Raising this baby with Andrea would be the perfect retribution. It was exactly what he had attempted with Aspen and Andrea. That jerk had tried to take away my family. Of course he had not gotten away with it. No way was Rick ever going to take Andrea and my daughter away from me. Hell would freeze over before I allowed that happen.

I could forgive Andrea for her affair, and I knew the baby was not at fault.

_But Rick I would never forgive. Not that I ever liked him much in the first place._

I smiled to _myself, b_y the time Rick found out this was his baby, it would be too late_. _This baby would already be calling me daddy. Then Rick would hate Andrea for not telling him. Selfish prick wouldn't understand that I was giving her no _choice_. At last I would be able to break their connection. She would love me for taking care of this baby even though it was not mine. And she would hate Rick for questioning her. _She would finally __see that I was the better man for her. I was the only man who really loved her. And she finally see Rick for the self-righteous asshole he really was. He could never love Andrea the way I did. _


	5. Chapter 5

**8. Letters **

_I should let go of Andrea. I could not save her. The Governor had grown too powerful. I should have never let gone this far. We should have fought against him instead of just handing Michonne over. _Now Michonne was dead, Merle was dead, and Andrea was his captive. I should know giving in to the demands of a sociopath wouldn't bring peace to anyone. It would only cause _more pain_.

Yes, the Governor kept his word. There were no more attacks made on us at the prison. But how many others did he kill to provide a lavish lifestyle to the people in community? How many others would suffer because I gave into this mad man's demands? And what happened to poor Andrea? From the Governor's warning to leave her alone I could assume she was still alive. But she because she was alive did not mean she was not being tortured. The thought of him beating the shit out of her, and then raping her made me sick. Why I had I allow her _sacrifice_ herself again? What made her life less valuable? _**I could not choose who lived or died anymore. **_And the fact I was in love with Andrea, made it even more painful that I had allowed this to happen again. Someone had to stop the Governor. _But what kind of father would I be if I risked Carl's and Judith's lives to stop this injustice? _Then again what kind of person would I be if I left Andrea there in Woodbury? All these questions were in my head.

Daryl was working hard with everyone in the group to make sure that when the Governor came back we would be ready._ No one wanted to just surrender without a fight. _Part of me, hoped he would come back so I would finally have a reason to kill him. _If he was dead I could finally have Andrea here where she belonged._

Days, weeks, and months went back with no attacks made. Everyday life continued on, and I would always think about Andrea. I finally took out the letters that the Governor left. Part of me thought they were fake at first. That the Governor wrote them himself to mess with my head.

After looking closely at the letters I could tell they were written in Andrea's handwriting. Also the context was obviously written by her. Reading these letters only reminded me of how much we loved each, but that we would always be kept apart. As long as the Governor was alive. This life wasn't fair. I read this part of her letter out loud to myself:

_Remember, the night we looked up the stars? And you asked me if I was happy in Woodbury. I lied and said I was. The truth is I can't be happy without you. Rick, you are the only man in my life who has ever taken care of me. You were willingly to risk everything to save me from Philip. _

_But I know taking care of you is more important. There are so many people who depend on you for leadership. Also your children need you. That's how I know sacrificing myself is worth it. Because you are such a strong and kind-hearted person. I know your life will make a difference. And tonight when you look up the stars remember the dance we had, and the smiles we shared. But most importantly remember that I will always love you Rick. No one can ever change that. _

_Yours always_

_Andrea _

Tears formed in eyes. I loved reading Andrea's declarations of her love to me. But it also reminded me of how much I wanted to have her with me. Reading the letters was like having my heart ripped out all over again.

**9. Connor**

_The days, weeks, and months went by too fast. _My letter writing days to Rick stopped. It was not worth the risk of Philip finding them. But I would still dream about him every night. Sometimes I thought I see him looking through my window, but I knew my mind was playing tricks on me. Woodbury was too secure now for Rick ever to get back inside again.

Every day my tummy got bigger and bigger. The nine months went by so fast, and I was getting ready to have my second baby. Philip was there when I went into labor holding my hand the whole time. One look at the little boy there was no doubt who his father was. This baby looked just like Rick. With dark blonde hair, blue-green eyes, and the exact perfect shape nose.

The look on Philip's face was blank at first. Up until that moment, there was still a good chance that this was his biological child. One look at this baby, and he knew it wasn't his. After a few minutes he walked over to me and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.

"We have a son," he says proudly.

"Yes," I respond.

We both know it's not his baby. But nothing is said about it. I know better than to do anything to upset Philip.

Part of me, feels guilty that Rick isn't here. Another part of me, is overjoyed to be holding the baby of the man I love. It was like I got to have a piece of him, even though we couldn't be together.

"So his name is Philip?"

"No, didn't we agree on that as a middle name?"

"Yes, Aidan Philip right?"

"He does not feel like Aidan though," I replied.

"But you said for months now that you were going to name him Aidan," he mutters annoyed.

"I know, but I was thinking he looks more like a Ridge," I suggested looking at the face of my newborn baby.

"I would like to stay away from any names that start with the letter R," he snaps.

"Okay. But I just don't think the name Aidan suits him. I am sorry to change it on you at the last moment. I can tell you are attached the name. Are there any other names you like?"

"He needs a name. Nothing with the letter R. How about Andrew?"

"No," I frown.

"John?"

"He's not a John ,either."

"I have always been fond of the name Connor, but I am guessing you hate that as well," he whispers.

"Actually, I love that name too. He looks like a Connor."

" Connor Philip Blake," He smiles at me.

"You should probably go get Aspen, and introduce her to her little brother," I reply reaching out for his hand.

"I will, but then you need to try to get some rest. You've had a big day."

A few minutes later Aspen is there smiling at me and her new brother.

"Daddy said his name is Connor," She tells me her brown eyes dancing.

"Yes, we have to be very careful," I tell her as reaches out to touch her baby brother.

"Happy Birthday Connor," She says giving him a kiss.

I watch as Aspen looks over at her little brother in amazement. I feel almost grateful to Philip in this moment. Because, here I am with my two children safe after child-birth. There are no walkers insight. And I have had excellent medical care during both pregnancies all because he made it possible. But I remind myself that this is all too good to be true. Other people have to pay with their lives so we can have this first class lifestyle. Don't let yourself be thankful to him, I told myself. But the longer I was there, and the more nice things he did for me the harder it was not to give in.

"I am going to put Aspen down for a nap. Then I'll give Connor a bottle so you can rest," Philip says kissing my lips softly.

"Thank you," I reply placing Connor down in the bassinet.

"I love you," Philip says looking at me again.

"I love you too," I replied without even thinking about it.

_Why did I say that? I did not mean it. But I could not take it back now. Maybe there was a part of me that did love the fact he made sure I had my two children safely with a nurse. And he was there both times holding my hand. Still, I had not meant to say it._

"I am glad you finally realize that," Philip smiles.

I say nothing, but close my eyes to go to sleep. I can feel his glaze on me as drift off to sleep. I was going to have to fight back **stronger **against Philip's charm and mind games. But that was easier said then done when I depended on him for everything.


	6. Chapter 6

**10. Promises **

"_I love you too," Andrea said looking right at me with those big eyes. _My heart was racing after hearing those four little words. If she had only knew how long I had waited to hear those words come from her lips. Never had she said that before. Andrea had said you're growing on me, I adore you, and even I want you. _But never I love you. In all the times we had together Andrea did not say she loved me once. She had not said it because it was not true. I know because I was always searching her eyes for love. Not once I had I seen it. Until now that is. Was there actually hope that she love me? Could she see I was more than just the Governor? Would Andrea ever give me her heart again?_

I looked over at Andrea sleeping like an angel. I picked up our newborn baby boy, and place a bottle in his mouth. I knew that first thing in the morning I would have to go back to work running Woodbury, but for the moment I was going to enjoy this time with my family.

Everything, I had gone exactly to my plan. I wanted Andrea, and I got her. She had even told me she loved me today. I wanted to be a father again, and now I had a daughter and a son. I got revenge on Michonne when Rick handed her over to me, and I murdered her. I had taken care of Milton and Merle after they dared to cross me.

My town was stronger than ever, and I had everything I would need to keep this place more secure then ever. _No one would get in that I did not want to, and no one would leave that I did not want to either_.

Now, I had a son to carry on my name. I looked down at Connor, and he looked up at me with his blue eyes.

"I promise to love like you are my own son ,little Connor," I whispered.

Connor begin to close his eyes, and I placed him in the crib. I walked over to Aspen, and kissed her cheek softly. Then I changed my clothes, and crawled into bed with Andrea. _Everything felt right for the first time in a long time. And although this baby was Rick's I knew in my heart it made no difference. This was my son. Rick would never know anything about this baby. That was a promise I made myself._


	7. Chapter 7

**11. The last time**

_I was never left alone after my escape to the prison. If Philip was not there someone else was. Martinez was there tonight, and the children were in their room. One year has already passed, and we would be celebrating Connor's first birthday soon. There would be a big party for everyone to tend. Philip loved having his perfect family to show off to everyone. The townspeople loved it as well. I still felt like a prisoner, but a comfortable one. I was adjusting, and Rick was starting to become a sweet memory._ But then he was there. Rick was in my bedroom, and Martinez was sound asleep. He looked so handsome in a black plaid shirt, and dark blonde hair falling on his face.

" You should not be here," I whispered pulling him in my arms.

"I know. I just had to see you," Rick said putting his hands on my face.

He pulls me into a soft warm kiss, and I return the kiss.

_There was so much I needed to tell him_. I wanted to tell him about our_ son_, but passion was taking over. We weren't taking much at all. His lips covered my body, and he slowly took off my nightgown. I laid on the bed. _The bed I shared with Philip, I thought feeling a little guilty. _With no words Rick takes his clothes off. His dick is hard, and he slowly slides himself inside of me.

"I love you, Andrea. I am going to get you out of here. If not tonight I will come back for you," Rick promised.

"I love you," I said feeling the pleasure only Rick could give me.

I look into his blue green eyes, and I feel myself getting completely lost in him. _If I could only stay in his arms forever. Why did his body fit perfectly in mine?_

"Andrea," I heard Philip knocking out the door. Thank goodness, he knocked. The shock he would have had if he had just walked in like normal. My heart is pounding. There was a good chance Philip would find Rick, and kill us both.

"You have to hide," I whispered to Rick who is already getting dressed.

"Why? I want him to know. I can take them. Come with me," Rick protested.

I looked at Martinez still sleeping, and hear Philip still knocking at the door.

"They will kill you. There are others close by. Please, I can't let that happen," I beg.

Rick quietly hides under the bed. With the lights off I knew he wouldn't be seen. I go to the bathroom, and quickly wash out my vagina with warm soap and water. I apply perfume, and pull my nightgown back on. I answer the door. Philip's hands are full with brown bags.

"For the party," He says handing over the bags.

"Can you get Martinez to leave now?"

"Why?"

"I would like to have time alone with you," I smile sweetly at him.

"Really? On the bed?"

"What do you think about the shower?"

He grins at me. He wakes up Martinez, and I turn on a small lamp that does not give out enough light to allow Rick to be visible.

"I thought he'd never leave, "Philip says pulling me into a kiss.

I kiss him back, and I look seeing Rick's eyes glued on us. _He really should not have come here, I thought. I hated for Rick to see Philip all over me like this. I knew it would break his heart._

"I know, but I want to go to the shower first," I said pulling him into the bathroom.

"Whatever, you want. I am yours."

He starts to take off his clothes, and I turn on the shower. He pulls of the white lace night-gown I just put back on. His starts kissing my neck. I could feel Rick's eyes looking at us while our naked bodies touch. Our eyes meet one last time. I hoped he could see the sadness in my eyes, and understand this was the only way I could distract Philip. I pull Philip into the shower, and start rubbing on his body with a bar of soap. I had to keep him in the shower long enough for Rick to escape. I needed more time

I started kissing Philip, with the warm water running on our naked bodies. He was hard, and ready to go to bed. He never liked to wait long. I was expected to always be ready to have sex with him.

"This is the first time in a long time you came on to me," Philip whispers in my ear.

"I know. You were just gone so long, I missed you," I respond pleasantly.

"I missed you too," He said pulling me closer.

"Wait here, and I go on the bed wait for you," I said getting out the shower.

"Why?"

"You said whatever I want. Remember?"

"Okay. Don't take to long," He says suspicious of me.

I closed the bathroom door, and check under the bed. Rick was gone. I said a pray that he would make it out of Woodbury alive. If Philip had not came in I knew I could have made it out of Woodbury with Rick. But now that Philip was back with his personal army there would be no way we could escape. Of course escaping would not be easy with two children now, and where could we go where Philip would find us.

Philip walks into the bedroom.

"I am impatient," He says pushing me on the bed.

"I know, but I love you anyways," I said giving him a small kiss. He covers me with his body, and I feel a soft tear coming to my eyes. Philip is slowly pushing himself inside me with his dick. He moans, as he comes inside of me.

_You would think by now I would accept that I could never have Rick in my life. Maybe I should just enjoy the few moments Rick and I could steal. But my heart still wanted to have Rick with me. It did not matter what Philip did. I could never feel the way I did about Philip as I did Rick. Seeing him tonight reminded me of that. I could not make myself STOP loving Rick no matter how hard I tried_. _And I still had not gotten the chance to tell him about his son. _


	8. Chapter 8

**12. It's over**

"So you saw her having sex with the Governor?"

"Pretty much. He was naked, and all over her," I replied looking at Daryl.

"That fucking sucks, but you know why she did it. She was trying to protect you. The Governor has a whole army now. I am impressed you got in there, and live to tell about it."

"It does not change anything. I just done with it. Seeing her act that way with him. It seems almost as if she wants to be there," I said heartbroken.

"Rick, you know that girl loves you. She has to act that way with the Governor," He assured me.

"I don't know. She seems different now. I think he has gotten to her, and I can't keep setting myself up for failure when it comes to Andrea," I sighed.

"You two are going to work out. I am not usually into all this romantic stuff, but when she was here I could see it."

"What?"

"She had love for you Rick. I could see it in her eyes. Whatever, she has going with the Governor can't compare to what I saw in her eyes."

"_Thanks. I now I feel worst I can't get Andrea out of there,"_ I looked at the ground again.

Daryl nods and walks away. Why could I not do anything right? I could not keep Lori save, and now I could not help Andrea. Maybe she was better of in Woodbury. She did not seem to be as miserable as I imagined with her arms walked around the Governor. I could still see her blue eyes dancing as he picked her up. Their naked bodies touching, and his lips kissing her neck. It was more than anyone could take. No, she did not look to unhappy at all. _She looked like a woman in love. I had just let her go. Focus on keeping Judith and Carl save. Easier said then day, because Andrea was the only woman I could love._

**PART 2- 13 YEARS LATER **

**13. Whiskey**

_Connor grew everyday day to look more and more like Rick. It was haunting every time I looked at him. By the time he was 14 he could easily pass for his biological father. But he acted just like Philip. The two were best friends, and Connor had a taste for trouble. Also a taste for whiskey, and not even his father could keep him in control. _So the day he went missing, and no one could find him in Woodbury I assumed the worst.

My heart was breaking as I thought of my only son being dead somewhere being or killed by a walker.

"Andrea, I am going to bring him back here," Philip promised.

"I want to go with you," I begged.

"I know, but you need to stay here with Aspen. I will find Connor," He said wrapping his arms around me.

"Please, come right back here as soon as you find him."

"I will. Now why don't you go in the house? And try to get some rest."

I nodded, and go inside the house. I walk into the kitchen, and see an empty Whiskey bottle. Also there is another one missing. Connor was lost outside of Woodbury , and probably drunk too. What was this boy thinking?

**15. I am a King **

"_My dad maybe the Governor, but I am mother fucking king," I said taking another drink from my Whiskey bottle._

Avery looked up me with her green eyes shining. Her black hair was falling in her face.

She was sexy as hell in tight blue jeans, and black tank top. She was not like other girls, and I admired her sense of adventure. It was her idea to sneak out of Woodbury, and go shooting bitters. Although at the moment I more concerned with getting into her pants then killing any bitters.

"You are sexy mother fucker," Avery said pulling me into her arms.

I wrapped my arms around her, and the last thing I remembered was she was taking her shirt off.

I must have drunk too much because everything was out of focus.

"Wake up," I heard a man's voice screaming above me.

I looked up to see a man with light brown hair offer me his hand. Standing behind him is a woman with short hair. I have no idea who they are, but I am thankful for the help.

"Do you see what I see?"

"I do. I thought it was Rick all first ," The woman replies to him.

_Who the hell is Rick? _

I grab the stranger's hand and look down to see if Avery is all right. She is still sleeping too. Then woman goes to wake her up.

"I'm Daryl, and we're going to help you guys," He tells me.

"Sure. We're from Woodbury. You many not know where that is, but I can show you once I sober up."

"Oh, we are familiar with that place. But we won't be able to make it there before sunset. It would be way to dangerous to travel at night. You two are lucky enough of those walkers did not find you before we did. Besides there is someone I think you should meet," He grins.

I nod and look over at Avery.

"They're right. No way we can travel back home tonight. Might as well take our chances," She smiles.

"If anything happens to me, my father is a very powerful man," I start to say.

"We're not going to hurt you. I promise," He replies.

We pick up our bags, and follow them. They lead us to an abandon prison.

"Carol, you should take them to get some water. I think I should probably talk to Rick, and get him ready for this ."

We follow the woman who gives us some water, and some food.

"You kids really need to be more careful. If Daryl and I hadn't found you, then the walkers would have," She says in a motherly voice.

"You're right. I won't ever leave Woodbury once we get back," Avery replied.

"It's all right," I said putting my hands on her back.

I had no idea that everything I knew was about to fall apart. I all I knew is that I wanted nothing more than to get home.

**16. You have another son**

"_Rick, there is a teenage boy out there. He looks just like you. I believe he is your son," Daryl said trying to get me to move from the bed._

I had entered in a state of depression. A girl named Farah asked me to sleep with her. She was a virgin in her early twenties. I knew better, but I was tired of being alone. We were careful, but somehow she got pregnant. She did not ask for any help, or even tell anyone she was expecting my baby. Last week _Herschel _found her in bed bleeding. He did everything he could to save her. But she died from a _miscarriage_. The guilt I had from her death was insufferable. _And never being able to hold that child. _It was heartbreaking. If that was not enough Judith, my daughter, had gotten sick with the flu. She had died just a few weeks before Farah's death. Now Daryl was here telling me I had a son? How was this possible? Was I dreaming.

"I am telling you. This kid looks just fucking like you. Even more than Carl does. He says he is from Woodbury. I think Andrea had your baby," Daryl said.

"It couldn't be. I saw Andrea, and she didn't mention anything about a baby. She would have told me…," I said in disbelief.

"You have to see it. I am telling you," Daryl says pulling me up out of the bed.

I follow Daryl to the room where this mystery teenage boy is.

I look up at him, and he looks at me. It was like looking in a mirror. I knew right away that this was in fact my son. There was no another explanation.

"What is your name?"

"I am Connor Blake," He says looking at with his blue eyes.

"And your mother is Andrea?"

"Yeah. Do you know her? I am sure she is worried sick," He says quietly. Even his voice sounds like mine.

"I know her very well, but she has no reason to worry. There is no safer place for you then here with me," I said pulling into my arms.

"I don't understand. Are we related to each other?"

"I am going to explain everything. And when I do hopefully you won't be in such a hurry to leave," I smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**17. You're my father ?**

"Are you serious? My dad is Philip. I have his middle name, and everything," I looked up this man and knew it was true. This was my real dad. A man I knew nothing about.

I did not know how to take it all in.

"I understand that is what you were told, but I want you to give me a chance. Stay here, and get to know me. You have an older brother too. His name is Carl," He pleaded with.

"I have a brother? Wow," I was taking this all in.

"You can't stay here. Our life is back in Woodbury," Avery said touching my arms.

"I won't force you to stay, but I have missed out on fifteen years of your life. Couldn't you give me a little time?"

"He's right. I should stay here, and get to know my brother too."

"You are really going to stay here? We should really go back home," Avery looks shocked. I knew this place was no Woodbury, but this was my father. _One look you could not deny it._ How could she not understand that would want to have a relationship with him?

"Yeah. I want to get to know Rick. Look at him, it's obvious he is my biological

dad."

"Well, I want to leave," She says flipping her black hair.

"I will take you half way. We're supposed to go near Woodbury," Daryl volunteers.

"Let my parents know I am okay," I said to Avery as she leaves.

"Are you sure staying here is what you want? You can go back with your friend," Rick tells me.

"Yes, I want to get know you," I reply to him.

"I can't believe I have another son this whole time," Rick says staring at me.

"Imagine my surprise to learn the person I thought was my father isn't. I don't like the fact I have been lied to for all these years," I said looking at him again.

I blinked my eyes. _How could I look just like this man? All those years had gone by and people told me how much I was like Philip. Turns out he wasn't even my dad._

"We both were lied too. I never got the chance to be there like I would have been. You have to know I had no idea you _existed_."

"I know you didn't. I can tell already that you are that type of person."

"Well, as your father I have to tell you a kid at your age should not be drinking Whiskey or any type of alcohol ," He looks seriously.

"I know. My mom she tells me all the time. I just been a little out of control lately. I always felt like I was different from my father, and everyone expects to be just like him. It was a lot of pressure. Now I know why I found so out of place. My whole life was basically a lie," I answer looking right at him.

"Well, no one will except you to be anything other then Connor here. As far as I am concerned you can stay for as long as you like," Rick says giving me a big hug.

_Why did my Philip pretend to be my dad? Why would my mom lie to me? Did I not have the right know the truth? I mean this whole time I had brother, and I dad I never know. I can't help feeling angry at both of them for lying to me. Why did I not deserve the truth?_

_**18. He is alive**_

"He is alive," Avery said when she returned to Woodbury.

Those three words from coming from Connor's girlfriend were like music to my ears.

"You are sure?"

"Yes. These people brought us to a prison. Connor meets this Rick guy, and they look-alike. Next thing I know Connor decides he is going to stay there. I think he has lost it," Avery says walking off.

"You hear that Philip?"

"Every word. I should have known Rick was behind this. Stupid son of a bitch," He mutters.

"I need to go down there, and get Connor," I say looking right at Philip.

"Andrea, I can deal with this. I don't want you getting hurt," He puts his hand on my face.

"Rick, will never listen to you. Please, let talk to him," I plead with.

"Okay, but I am going with you."

"Yeah. Just let me talk to him alone."

"Promise you won't let him turn you against me?"

"You can trust me."

"I love you so much. Now Connor is gone. I can't lose my family," His arms are wrapped around me.

_Connor would have never left if you would have listen to me. I told you he was to young for alcohol, to start driving, and hurting walkers. He is fifteen, but you were treating him like he was twenty-one. He is just my baby boy. And now he might not ever return home._

"You won't. I'll talk to Rick. And he'll send Connor home," I said calmly.

"I hope you are right. Rick seems to do whatever he pleases," Philip replies.

"Rick will listen to me. He'll understand that you're the only father Connor has ever known. But you can't threaten attacking the prison this time. Promise me?"

"I wouldn't do that. My son is in there. You have to know that I love him as much as you do. I won't do anything to put his life in danger," He promises.

"You've change," I smiled.

"You changed me, Andrea. Your love saved me. That's why I could not lose you," Philip pulls me closer.

"I am here, but I need to tell Aspen about her brother. She's been worried. Then you can drive me over there. Hopefully Connor will come home today," I try to smile.

"He will, and everything will be like before," Philip pulls me in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and tempting. I return his kiss, and get caught up in the moment.

_How did I let this happen? How could I possibly allow myself to have feelings for him again? Was it because he needed me? Or was he just to charming to resist forever? Why I did I let myself fall for him again? I knew I was better of without Philip, but I still wanted him._

**19. One more lie **

_I knew it was only matter of time before Andrea showed up. It took only two days. She thought she come over here, and say all the right things. Then what? I would just hand Connor back over to her? After missing out on fifteen years of his life. Hell no. Connor could stay here as long as he wanted._

"Rick, you know why I am here," Andrea said softly.

Why did she have to look so beautiful? I hadn't seen her in fourteen years, but she hadn't changed at all. If everything she was more lovely.

"Yes, I know. You want me to send Connor back with you. But that's not happening," Rick smirks.

"He belongs with me. I am his mother," Andrea pleads.

"I am his father. You had fifteen years, and I have what two days? I am supposed to tell him goodbye? I am that boy's father. Not Philip. Me."

"Please, we've raised him. We're the only family he has known," She still begging.

"That's not my fault. You never told me. I saw you Andrea, and never did you mention there was a baby. Or that he could be mine. You allowed that asshole to raise him. Even named my son after Philip. Can you tell me how someone could do that? And then have the nerve to come here asking me to tell my son to go back with you?"

"Rick, I should have told you that night. But neither one of us were talking much. We were overcome with passion. Then Philip got back, and I had to keep you save," Andrea replies tears in her eyes.

"I remember that night well. I saw you two fucking. You should I told me then. As soon as you saw me that should have been the first words out of your mouth. How hard is it to say Rick I had your baby?"

"I was scared. I was afraid you would take Connor that night," Andrea eyes filled up with more tears.

"I wanted to take you with me. I came back for you. Why didn't you come?"

"I was scared. I had two small children, and wanted everyone to be safe," She says looking at the ground.

"Look at me Andrea, and tell me the truth. Just for once in your life," I yelled at her.

"What do want me to say Rick?"

"You never loved me. That's what I want you to say. Admit it was all game to you. That's why you always went back to Philip."

"Rick, it was never like that. I have always wanted you. I still want you," She yells.

"You don't. I saw the way you looked at Philip. You love him, not me."

"I care about him. And I am sure you might have seen lust between us. But it was not love, like I have for you. I was trying to keep you safe," Andrea says softly.

"Like you kept Connor safe? What kind of mother allows her teenage son to drink whiskey, and carry a shotgun? If Daryl had not found him I would not have a son left to know. He would be dead. Connor needs to stay with me. So I can undo all the damage you and Philip have done," I shouted.

"You're right. I should have never allowed Connor to drink. Philip was a bad influence just like you said he would be. And I can't fight this anymore. I know who is right for me."

"Andrea, what are you saying?"

"Rick, let's run away like you suggested before. We'll take Connor, and raise him together. We'll be the family we always should have been," She pleads.

"I can't do that with you now."

"Why?"

"Andrea, it's been too long. And I don't love you anymore. I fought so hard for us. I was alone most of the time waiting for you to come back. I could live with that, but not telling me about Connor. You should told me that night. I can't forgive that," I replied.

"I understand. Is there anyway we could talk to Connor?"

"He does not want to talk to you or Philip now."

"You can't expect me to leave my son?"

"I should, but unlike you I am not that cold-hearted. Connor is going to come back and visit in Woodbury. After he has time to cool down," I tell her.

"I can't just leave him," Her eyes full of tears.

"It's what Connor wants. He is going to come visit. I promise I will make him."

"And you don't love me anymore?"

"No," I said.

"All right, please tell Connor we miss him," Andrea says.

_Then I watch her get in the car with Philip. His arms are around her, and I realize that I made huge mistake. I was hurt and angry about Connor. But I still loved Andrea. Why did I let her go again? How could I do that. I knew Philip, had been controlling her. She was a victim in this situation, but I let my jealous and pride get in the way. Now Philip would have Andrea's love. And she hate me forever._

**20. I love you**

"Connor is going to stay at the prison for a while," I told Philip.

"You are okay with that?"

"No, but he's fifteen. What can we do?"

"You're right. Rick is not going to hurt him," Philip says touching my back.

"I know. And he is going to come back for visits," I smiled.

"See after a few visits, he'll be ready to come home," Philip smiles.

"Yeah. I just want him with me now," I said my tears coming to my eyes.

" I don't love you Andrea", "You are a bad mother", and "I can never forgive." I could hear those three sentences that Rick said over and over. If Rick did not love me why I should I hold back my feelings for Philip anymore? Maybe Philip was destiny, and not Rick. It was so easy with Philip, and comfortable now. Rick clearly hated me. I loved him, but he hated me. Still could I forgive Philip after everything?

"I know you do," Philip says pulling me in for a kiss.

"I love you. You never given up on us," I tell him as I return his kiss.

"And I never will. You're the one for me, Andrea."

_I close my eyes and kiss him again. My dreams of being with Rick were over. We would share our son together, but I was going to stay here in Woodbury with Philip. At least I felt like I could trust Philip. He was trying to change, and he understood I was not perfect. I could never make Rick happy. But why did I still want Rick? Could I actually make my feelings go away? But what would be the point of hanging on to someone I could never have? Would it not be better to give my heart to someone who wanted it?_

**21. Don't go back**

"You don't have to leave," I told Connor.

"I know ,Rick," He smiles.

_Why couldn't he just call me dad? That who I was. His father._

"I am just going to really miss you," I smile looking into his blue eyes.

"I will miss you and Carl too, but I want see my mom. Also my big sister," He says softly.

"And you are coming back?"

"Yes, and I won't be drinking anymore alcohol. I promise," He smiled at me.

"How long will you be gone for?"

"Three days. I'll be the first person who will able to come and go to Woodbury as he pleases," Connor smiles again.

"That's what I am afraid of. They won't let you _leave_," I grab his arm.

"They never been able to stop me before," He smirks.

He definitely had an attitude like the Governor's, but I was able to get him under control. My son had a good heart, and I couldn't lose him.

"Be careful, I don't trust most people over there."

"You mean Philip?"

"Yes, but I have my reasons," I say giving him another hug.

_He nods at me. He does not want to hear my reasons, and I don't tell him._

_I know that in his heart I am not his father. Philip is, and I had to respect that._

"I'll see later bro, "Connor tells Carl.

The two of them shake hands, and I walk him to the prison gate.

"I'll come back, Rick," He assures me.

"Promise? And tell your mom I'm sorry."

"Sure," Connor replies having no clue what I mean.

I watch as he gets in the car with Philip_. Everything in me is fighting the urge to pull Connor out of the car. He'll be okay, I tell myself_.

But someone how I don't believe it. The Governor couldn't trusted. The only way to make sure my son was safe, is to keep him away from the Governor. And the only way I could do that was by finally getting Andrea to stay with me. I wouldn't be stop this time. I lost fifteen years of Connor's life, and I would not lose anymore. Andrea would be back with me. Where she belonged_. I should never let her go again. But I would get her back. I had tried to long to forget her, and move on. I couldn't we were soulmates._


End file.
